Texas Lou

Good morning and welcome to my weekly thankful Monday post!

Here’s what I’m thankful for today:

1. I’m so thankful for all of the wonderful people in our lives who helped us move this weekend!  Chris, Cara, Lindsay, Charles, Sarah, Ian, Peter, Phyllis, and Brandon all helped us by packing, carrying boxes and furniture, lifting heavy items, providing breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and lending large vehicles like trucks and trailers for moving.  We couldn’t have done it without them and I’m so grateful to have these amazing, helpful people in my life!  I’m also thankful for the many offers from friends and family to help us move.  I’m very touched to know such generous people!
2. I’m very thankful that we are finally living in our new house!  It doesn’t quite feel like home just yet, but once we get everything moved in, make the necessary purchases, and arrange things the way we want them, I think we are going to feel quite cozy!
3. I’m thankful my kitties seem to be adjusting well to the move.  We were a little nervous about moving them since they’ve been living in a small one bedroom condo their entire lives, but they seem to be adjusting to the new house surely but slowly.
4. I’m grateful for an opportunity that my sister has to possibly get a much more rewarding and fulfilling job with a better schedule.  I’m sending all the luck I can fathom to her this morning in her interview!
5. I’m thankful that we are 85% done moving things out of our condo!  I never realized that 2 people could have so much stuff and fit it into 800 square feet like we did!

I hope everyone has a bright and amazing week!

Whenever I leave Texas/home/family or get back to reality after a lovely trip to Texas/home, I get this nagging tinge of sadness.  It eats at the back of my mind.  It makes my heart ache.  It creates the lump in my throat.  It makes me question my place in my life.  Can I stay in Virginia forever?  Will I stay in Virginia forever?  I have to stay in Virginia forever.  I feel trapped.  I’ve made a life here, a wonderful and amazing life filled with beautiful souls surrounding me.  But I also have a life there, a wonderful and amazing life filled with more beautiful souls who I long to be around.  I start to panic, worrying about all of the moments I’m missing with those people in Texas.  I start to get jealous of them because they are there and I am not.  I miss my mom, I miss my dad, I miss them all.  Sometimes I wonder if I have Separation Anxiety Disorder.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m just an emotional child who never learned to be OK with being on my own.  And other times I wonder if maybe what I’m feeling is normal even though it hurts so very much.  The tinge of sadness turns into much more.  It turns into anxiety, emotion, pain, and depression that engulfs me.  Its like I’m on a roller coaster.  I go from level ground in my every day life to being at the very top spending an amazing time with people who I miss and love in a place that I miss and love and then I’m down at the bottom trying to get back to that ground level again when all I can think about is the very top.  My mind conjures up an old woman, the me of the future, here in Virginia, all alone, with no one to love me and let me love them.  This may be my biggest fear.

My main motivation becomes getting back to that top, back to Texas, back to the ones I love as often as possible.  The reason I seek a high-paying job, the reason I save my money, the reason I allow my inbox to overflow daily with the latest airfare deals.  It becomes an obsession.  I need to find a way to stop this cycle.  Leaving my family and Texas cannot always reduce me to becoming an emotional child.  It’s not healthy and it’s not fair for the ones around me that I love.

Here are some things that seem to help:

• Having another trip or visit to look forward to (this isn’t always easy as I don’t always have the next trip planned or booked)
• Getting back into a schedule as fast as possible
• Spending time with the people I love here to remind me why I am here
• Counting my blessings…being thankful that I am even able to take the trips
• Talking to the people I love there on the phone or on the internet to remind me that they are only physically far away but close in all other ways (thank goodness for Facebook, Email, Cell phones, Skype)
• Escaping…into a movie, into fun, into activities

I’m not sure if any of those are healthy ways of dealing, but they all seem to provide some relief until I’ve reached that level ground again.  Please, if anyone has any suggestions or ideas, I’d love to hear them.  How do you cope with being permanently away from the ones you love?

I was in Texas this weekend and traveling all day yesterday so Thankful Monday has turned into Thankful Tuesday!

This Tuesday, I am thankful for so much after spending a wonderful long weekend with my family at the beach!  Here are just a few of the things I am grateful for:

1. I’m thankful for my mom.  I’m thankful that she hosted my sister, brother, Ben, and I at the beach this weekend, cooked us some of our favorite meals (swedish meatballs…yum), and showered us with gifts (reusable bags from the cities we attended college in, Texas honey from my uncles’ beehives, and delicious HEB tortillas!  I really have the best mom in the world (but I am a bit biased since she is MY mom)!
2. I’m thankful for my brother, Mikey.  He’s always so much fun to be around and we enjoyed his company this weekend while we joked, shared some delicious Saint Arnold‘s beer, and basked in our favorite home-cooked and Texas meals.  My brother understands what its like to live far from home and outside of Texas because he currently resides in South Carolina and I feel like we’ve become closer since sharing that experience.  I’m also so thankful that Mikey stayed up until 2 AM (3 AM his time) driving us from Houston to Padre after our flight was delayed…what a trooper!
3. I’m thankful for my sister, Carrie.  She has the sweetest smile when she is being positive and despite what she might think, I love her very much and enjoy spending time with her.  I’m thankful she was able to get off work this weekend to spend time with us, and I’m also very thankful that she provided her car for transportation so that we did not have to rent a car.
4. I’m thankful for my dad.  Despite having a busy work day and a conference call scheduled, he took time out to meet us for a Tex-Mex lunch at Chuy’s yesterday and then drove Ben and I to the airport.  He even managed to fit in a quick reunion with my step-mom and little brothers!  I’m really grateful that I got to see my dad and spend a little time with him since we were only in Houston for a few hours.
5. I’m thankful for Debbie.  I love Debbie and she has always been one of our favorite “aunts”.  I’m thankful that Debbie was able to spend the weekend with us and also so grateful that she took time to drive us back to Houston since Carrie had to leave Sunday to go back to work.
6. I’m thankful for Josh, Caroline, and their two sweet kiddos.  It was so nice to see them and spend Saturday at the beach with them!
7. I’m thankful for my Uncle (Amo) Jamil, Aunt Norma, and their family.  They drove from San Antonio to Padre to spend some time with us on the beach on Sunday.  It was so sweet to spend some time with my little cousins, play in the ocean and in the sand with them, and get to know them some.  I miss living close to them, and I’m so grateful for every time we get to see each other.
8. I’m thankful that I got to see my step-mom and my little brothers even if it was only for 30 minutes.  They are growing up so fast!
9. I’m thankful for my husband, Ben, who lets me drag him all around Texas, especially when I know he’s not crazy about traveling.  It’s much less sad to leave Texas and my family when he’s traveling with me.
10. Lastly, I’m thankful for the really cool TVs and free movies that United Airlines provided us.  Being able to watch Zero Dark Thirty and This Is 40 on the plane made being delayed for a couple of hours a lot less frustrating!

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop at 10!  I hope everyone has a beautiful week!

Good morning and happy Thankful Monday!

I certainly have ALOT to be thankful for this morning, including but not limited to the following:

1. I’m so thankful that Ben and I closed on our new house!  We are now homeowners and we absolutely LOVE our new home.  I ca’t wait to throw parties in it, raise babies in it, and make a lifetime of memories!
2. I’m so thankful for wonderful family who helped us do some moving this weekend.  A special shout out goes to Ian for his heavy lifting, Peter for letting us borrow his truck, and Sarah and Phyllis for the many meals they cooked for us to keep us going!
3. I’m thankful for the beautiful weather we had this weekend.  Not only was it quite enjoyable to be outside, it helped make moving alot easier without having to worry about extreme heat, freezing cold, or rain.
4. I’m thankful for my husband, Ben, without whom I wouldn’t be able to afford the house of my dreams.  It’s also been so amazing to experience this rite of passage with him by my side.
5. Lastly, I’m thankful that I’m headed to Texas next weekend for the first time in almost a year (I think that’s the longest I’ve ever been away from my home state) and that I get to see my family who I love so much!

Have a beautiful and very happy week friends!

I saw this post titled “14 Ways to Be Fearless” on Lifehack and wanted to share it for others to enjoy as well as for myself to have a place where I can easily return to it and review it again.  Being fearless, or as fearless as possible, is one of my goals and I think these tips hit the nail right on the head!

Here’s how you can start overcoming fear:
1. Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to admit that you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal” state of being, and that is quite a bit to overcome all at once.  Write down some aspects of your life where have fear;  getting them down on paper is important, because trying to simply think them through never works.

2. Stare at fearless people.  Fill your brain with images of what you want your “future self” to look like.  Connect with as many role models as you can, whether in person, through a book, or online.  Use these examples as an energy source to combat your fear.

3. Be objective. Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear, and how you react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.

4. Be willing to look stupid.  Remember:  Wayne Gretzky fell on his tail a ton, and Itzhak Perlman has had horrible performances.  Once you are willing to risk the emotional pain of making mistakes, you will shed more fear than you ever imagined.  Know that making mistakes will help you obtain information you use to create the correct behaviors, and that everyone who has ever done something great has failed more than once.

5. Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. I have been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary!  Instead of freaking out, I have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to communicate musically with so many people, and I know that they are there to genuinely listen to me play and root me on.

6.  Seek out teachers.  It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never done learning.  Seek out someone who scares you a little—not a polite person who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy.  Seek out someone who watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you can get better at whatever scares you.

7. Share. How often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react?  Sharing helps, because you will realize that many people feel the same way as you do, and have stories to share as well.  Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure?  Sharing with someone can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from.

8. Embrace struggle.  Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels like failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true.  To develop our skills, it is a necessity that we struggle, so we must embrace it.  Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.

9. Read. My personal favorite. Reading a good book related to your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I constantly fill my world with motivational and inspirational books on, and related to, the topic I’m dealing with.

10. Use visualization. Imagine yourself in a scary situation without fear. Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out.  Visualize yourself as that person.  Create a very clear picture of fearlessness in your mind.

11. Put things in perspective. Putting your negative thoughts in perspective is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without you.  Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this.

12. Release control. Of course we want to be in control, but when we relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up.  Allow yourself to make mistakes—after all, that’s where learning and growth really happens.  We learn from our failures, but to fail we need to release control.

13. Think about the worst case scenario. What’s the worst that could happen? I have crumbled on stage in front of hundreds of people. My wife still loved me; I lived. Life goes on.

14. Look within. What is the root of your fear? Meditate on it. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started: How far back does your fear go? Did you have an early failure that has stuck with you?  Explore it.  That’s what life is all about.

Source

Good morning!  Spring is actually FINALLY here and we’ve been having beautiful weather so that is definitely something to be thankful for!

In addition to my gratefulness that spring has arrived, I’m also thankful for the following:

1. I’m so thankful that Ben and I close on our new house this week!  I can’t wait to live in a house again…it’s been 8 years since I’ve lived in an actual house!  So long apartment living!
2. I’m very happy for my cousin Jennifer and her new husband Eric.  They got married in Florida this weekend and I’m extremely thankful for Facebook and all of her friends and family who posted pictures of the beautiful event and lovely family so that I could share in the celebration.
3. I’m thankful for the new friends I’ve made at work who have made working here feel much more comfortable and happy.
4. I’m thankful for all of the wonderful people who have offered to help us move and fix up our condo to get it ready to rent.  We are lucky to have such kind and generous people in our lives.
5. I’m thankful that in less than two weeks, I will be a first-time home owner AND I’ll be in Texas visiting my family!
6. BONUS:  I’m thankful that the Farmers Market is finally back in season.  I went early Saturday morning to enjoy it and missed it so much!  I’m glad its back for another 9 months!

Have a wonderful and beautiful week.  I hope everyone is lucky enough to enjoy some warm and beautiful spring weather (sans allergies of course)!

Good morning and welcome to this week’s Thankful Monday blog post!

I’m thankful for the following (and lots of other things not listed here as well):

1. I’m thankful for modern medicine, especially allergy medicine.  It’s spring time and with that time of year comes seasonal allergies.  Mine are as bad as ever so I’m very happy to have some Allegra, Zyrtec, Flonase, Nasonex, etc. for some sweet relief.
2. I’m thankful for my in-laws, especially my mother-in-law  Virginia Mom, who helped us celebrate a lovely Easter Sunday with a delicious lunch, great company, and Easter egg dying!
3. I’m thankful that we were officially approved for our mortgage loan on the house we have under contract.  I’m also very thankful for the wonderful inspection and appraisal that it received, the great deal we are getting on it, and the nice and friendly couple who are selling it to us and have taken such great care of the house.
4. I’m sad that one of my favorite shows, The Walking Dead, is over until October, but very happy and grateful that its Sunday night spot will be replaced with another one of my favorite shows, Game of Thrones.
5. I’m thankful for another Monday and a new month to start fresh!

Happy April, happy week, happy everything!

Good morning and welcome to my Thankful Monday post!

Today, I’m thankful for the following:

1. I’m thankful for a wonderful day with friends yesterday.  First, we had breakfast at the Tavern on the James and then we went to the James River Brewing Company that I’ve been wanting to try for a long time.  It was great company, great food, and great fun!
2. I’m thankful that I have amazing women in my life who are all willing to put in the effort to keep in touch.  Friday night, I met up with several of the ladies I used to work with at VGT for dinner and drinks.  It was so nice to catch up with everyone and I’m always grateful to have another Girls’ Night to look forward to!
3. I’m thankful to have so many friends who are pregnant or who have recently had babies.  Not only am I thankful that their pregnancies all seem to be going well, but I’m also so happy to see so many wonderful friends bringing new life into this world.
4. I’m thankful that Spring is here!  Although we had about 3 inches of snow last night, we had a beautiful, sunny, and warm day on Saturday that Ben and I enjoyed by running 5 miles along the river.  I think this is the last of the snow we will have this season.
5. I’m thankful again for the opportunity to work from home today.  As I mentioned before, we had snow overnight and it is supposed to continue to snow until this evening so I’m very glad I have a job that allows me the flexibility to work from home so that I don’t have to risk my safety and others’ on the roads.

Have a terrific week!

Happy Thankful Monday!

Today, I am thankful for the following:

1. I am thankful I was able to finish the Charlottesville Ten Miler on Saturday despite the rain and the difficult hills.  I can honestly say that I think this was the hardest race I’ve ever run.  I’m not sure if it was the rain, the hills, my mindset, or being exhausted from the time change and traveling the previous weekend, but I doubted my will to finish it several times during the second half of the race.  I was so glad when I crossed the finish line and I am grateful that my body and mind were able to get me that far.
2. I am thankful for a nice relaxing weekend with my family.  Saturday, we made dinner, bloody marys,  and Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes with Ian, Sarah, Collin, and Ben and then Sunday we had a nice dinner with Ian, Sarah, Brandon, Peter, and Phyllis.  I’m thankful for wonderful loving people in my life.
3. I am thankful to hear some good news from a friend last week.  It’s  not my place to say what their news is, but I know they have had a couple of years of trouble and they now seem to be past the end of that tunnel.  Many people’s prayers have been answered!
4. I’m thankful that I have a close family.  My 2 aunts, 2 uncles, cousin, and great aunt visited my mom this past week at the beach for Spring Break and I’m so happy that all of my family makes the effort to spend time with one another.  I’m also thankful I got to spend some virtual time with them via Skype!
5. I’m thankful for a new week and a fresh start.  Last week was a little rough at work, but I’m hoping my anxiety will subside and I will be able to kick ass and take names again in the office this week!

Have a wonderful week!

Good morning and welcome to this week’s thankful post!

I was in New Orleans this weekend for my cousin Jennifer’s bachelorette party and I didn’t get back home until yesterday evening so this week’s post is on Tuesday.

Here’s what I’m thankful for this week:

1. I am beyond grateful that I was able to spend the weekend in New Orleans with so many amazing and fun ladies!  We had such a blast and I made so many great memories on the trip, caught up with family, and even made some new friends!
2. I am so thankful that I got to catch up with my aunt and cousins.  I’ve missed them so much and being around them was as if no time had passed at all.  My aunt was my second mom growing up and my cousins were more like sisters so getting to see them and spend the weekend with them was very special.
3. I am very thankful for an understanding husband who was not only totally cool with me going to New Orleans for a girls weekend and spending the money on the trip while we are trying to by a house, but he also genuinely missed me and wanted to spend all evening with me when I got back yesterday.  I even got an “I love you” text from him while I was gone and he NEVER texts!
4. I am thankful that I will get to see my family all over again in June for my cousin Jennifer’s wedding reception.  It made it less sad for the trip to be over knowing that we have plans for the future.
5. I’m thankful for a wonderful boss and flexible work environment that allowed me to take the day off yesterday so I could enjoy a longer weekend with my family.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people and have such a nice life.

Have a great week!